Acquired the metallic beauty on the right from the Alameda Flea Market last week: 1902-ish, Hamilton Beach, product name “Try-New-Life.” Try it. It tastes like vibration. The blue one on the left — circa 1960 — came from an antique shop on Haight. Sears brand, slogan: “Enjoy a new concept in the wonderful world of massage!”

This is the other recent acquisition, found at an estate sale in Noe Valley. Eskimo two-speed vibrator (two speeds!), I’d say 1920′s-ish, with its original box and deliciously crumbling attachments. Imperative: “Vibrate yourself to health and beauty.” Suggested uses: “For headaches, for complexion, for constipation.” Said the guy who sold it to me: “See how worn down the rubber is? Someone got a *lot* of use out of that.”